Forgotten Halachah MB 167

Interesting
this has not been my experience at all

I dont think IVe ever not seen group ask if one was a kohein (then defer to him to lead) or if for whatever reason someone else is honored they ALWAYS say “Bershus kohein/kohanim (sometimes without actually asking reshus)

I don’t think IVe ever NOT seen it done

Not sure which circles you are in, it seems to be standard practice where I have been going to shul.

Big deal. You have found a practice that is seldom followed and now you’re feeling your oats.

Question: When you are an invited guest while a זימון are present and you have been asked to lead the בּענטשן, do you do so over wine and then pass the בּעכער after the בּענטשן to the lady of the house? Rashi mentions this ancient custom in his commentary on ספר בראשית.

Do you make sure to remove the wine on the table if it is not used in the בּענטשן? Because that is a law – not a custom, a law.

This reminds me of a hothead pulpit rabbi who had found an obscure דין in the מגן אברהם that week and shouted on Friday night, “We are all מחלל שבת!” Terrific way to start people’s Shabbos, and also to fatuously proclaim his own ignorance and absence of human decency.

There are literally thousands of defunct practices, which some consider laws and others consider customs.

How can we be zocheh to Binyan Beth HaMikdash when you can’t be bothered to be Dan LeKaf Zechus?

“… if a Kohen who ate bread is sitting among them” What happens when the person who leads the zimun isn’t sure or isn’t paying attention? Perhaps to insist on this Kavod, a Cohen needs to have his Yichus certified by a Bais Din?

Besides that, look at Sha’ar Hatziune 65 where he says that there are situations where the person who leads the zimun does not need to ask permission from the Cohen. The point of this halacha is to be careful to avoid hurting anyone’s feelings when you take Kavod. Insisting on Kavod for the Cohen is exactly the opposite of what is intended.

Sinas Chinam is what destroyed it. Ahavas Chinam is what will rebuild it. The cohanim have their job, but the Levi’im have their job and the Yisroelim have their job. We would all need to work together to make it happen.

You should also be saying Berishus Avi Mori if bentching with your father.

I once asked my father-in-law, who is a Rav, the following:
We say b’rshus Kohanim, because really, the kohen should lead the zimun. If someone else is leading it instead, he asks for permission. So if a kohen is eating at someone’s house, and is asked to lead the zimun, he’ll often say b’rshus baal habayis. But if the baal habayis leads, he’ll say b’rshus hakohen. So who actually has the right to lead the zimun? Is it the kohen, or the baal habayis?

As an aside, when I was in yeshiva, there were some guys, who if they had eaten out, would say b’rshus baal habayis v’baalas habayis. This is wrong, because the woman is unable to lead the zimun, so you don’t need her permission.

@Square_Root The madreigah of the people you hang out with is most unbecoming.

I’ve almost always, if not always, heard birshus haKohein. Not sure where they missed out on that by you.

The MB says that when we make hamotzei even the baal habayis should say birshus which is interesting.