Putting a nickname on a matzeva or footstone. Advice welcomed.

My father Z”L was never called by his given name. No one except a few very close relatives knew what it was. In fact on my parents’ wedding invitations after his given name there was a parentheses with his nickname inside.
Therefore, it was a no brainer that his foot stone (we have a family plot headstone) would have his nickname on it.

@a mamin

Slang is a word such as ain’t. A nickname is NOT slang, it is an endearment. In this case as the OP wrote it is the English verbiage which would have the endearing name, not the proper Hebrew inscription.

My father’s stone have the correct Hebrew name, in English it has his given name then a parentheses containing A/K/A XXX…….the name everyone knew him as for more than 90 years.

In the OP’s case the great grandchildren will go and visit the grave for many decades to come and be comforted to see that ‘Bubs’ is buried there. They do not know her by any other name.

Hamakom yenachem…

In more heimish circles, full Hebrew name and formalities in front and endearments/nickname in rear.. so rear would read something like;

פ״נ
Our beloved bubs
Nina’leh Halbershtam

A mamin, so it’s respectful to use the name to their face while they’re alive, but not on a stone?

@yyoossii
The OP mentioned a Matzeva or footstone. I referred to a footstone. There usually is not an engravable rear side of a footstone. In fact the footstones for my parents’ graves are flat in the ground

CTL: I should’ve been clearer in saying they don’t use non-Hebrew lettering on matzeivas. IOW, no English. Yiddish, obviously, uses the Hebrew alphabet. Although, other than names, I don’t recall ever seeing other Yiddish wording on matzeivas.

@Joseph
Leaving flowers is generally a violation of the rules in most Jewish cemeteries. Carving a sentiment or endearing name is not against the rules.

I remember taking the shamash of our heimische shul in New Haven to make the rounds of local cemeteries one August when he was too old to drive. He pointed out the Matzeva of ‘The lady with the baby carriage’ There was an engraving of a baby carriage, and a story in Yiddish about this woman who pushed a baby carriage through the poor Jewish neighborhood each erev Shabbos for decades delivering free food for the poor. She had no husband or children and the Matzeva was paid for and erected by the shul Rav who decided on the engraving.

Who says stones can’t have English as well as Hebrew names?

English on matzeivas is very modernish.

In CH’M 56 the Meharam Shik says clearly that the world was created in lashon hakodash and that is the only language in hebrew letters the matzeva should be written in.

In the Wiener Cemetery above, chavreh kadishe has to approve the text to the matzeva. The cemetery belongs to a group who has the right to set rules as a shul does.

Maybe not the perfect forum for this, but I can’t figure out what R”VV stands for in the notes column on a Munkács Burial list found on JewishGen, taken from cemetery records. If anyone can help me out I’d appreciate it.

Joseph, non-Hebrew on Eastern European matzeivos was historically not an issue for Ashkenazim. Until the 1800’s, Jews living in the Austro-Hungarian and Russian
Empires did not have secular last names nor secular first names. By 1844, Jews living in the Empires were legally required to adopt secular last names.