Stupid Planes

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  • #2154286
    Zaphod Beeblebrox
    Participant

    I am on a plane. But it is not a good plane. In fact, I would say it is a very bad plane. But that is ok. Because I have a window seat. Other people do not have a window seat. So for them it is not ok.

    #2154338
    CTLAWYER
    Participant

    @troll
    Good luck to you.
    I am sorry you fly on bad planes.
    That said I only book/fly in aisle seats, not interested in the curved wall of the window seat.
    I like to get up at will and stretch my legs.
    When Mrs. CTL was still alive we always booked aisle seats across from each other.
    The only time I fly seated in a window seat is when it is also an aisle seat in private planes.

    #2154339
    DontMindMe
    Participant

    I think it’s time YWN put it place age restrictions on commenters. Let’s start with ages 8+ and go from there.

    #2154344
    ujm
    Participant

    Today’s session is over. We’ll see you next week.

    #2154379
    yungermanS
    Participant

    I pray that you’re on a plane to the holy land and remain there forever.

    #2154362
    Little Froggie
    Participant

    I once (OK a few times) had a better seat. It was a window seat. The front window. And I had the fun of flying it.

    #2154398
    ☕️coffee addict
    Participant

    Aisle seat rocks!

    (Get claustrophobic otherwise 😏)

    #2154404
    SamEiger
    Participant

    Have a safe trip and return safely BE”H

    #2154415
    maskildoresh
    Participant

    Zaphod,

    I too suffer from existential angst.
    Sometimes I think I am Frog. Other times I am Toad.
    Sometimes I feel like Benjamin Compton.
    These days, I am usually Claude Frollo.

    #2154423
    efshar azoi
    Participant

    oy planes
    such pains
    can make you insane
    are you going to maine
    ich mein?

    #2154468
    Zaphod Beeblebrox
    Participant

    I am not going to Maine. And I am not going to Eretz Yisrael either. But I will be going there on Monday. And aisle seats are only OK if the person by the window has good bladder control.

    #2154470
    Zaphod Beeblebrox
    Participant

    @dontmindme, I have an even better idea. YWN should start putting spelling/grammar restrictions on posters. If you can’t post coherently, then don’t post.

    (I am not saying that your post was incoherent. I am saying I just think it would be a better idea in general. If an 8 year old can post coherently, there’s no reason for us not to let him to. There’s plenty reason for his parents not to let him to, but not us.)

    #2154489
    Gadolhadorah
    Participant

    Has anyone recently made an effort to push you out of the emergency exit in flight? If so, Happy Landings.

    #2154501
    Zaphod Beeblebrox
    Participant

    Thank you, that’s very kind.

    #2154517
    Little Froggie
    Participant

    It’s called a Good Achis!!

    #2154532
    yungermanS
    Participant

    Instead of being so fancy. Why don’t you just stick with simple and plane which leads to humility and the road to greatness.

    #2154575
    Zaphod Beeblebrox
    Participant

    Gut voch to all.

    @yungermanS
    Because then I would still be walking, and shabbos would probably not have been as enjoyable.

    #2154671
    farfetchedpshat
    Participant

    I’m beginning to notice that it’s hard to construct anything about any personality on the internet based on what they write. (Such as troll/not, smart/not, age, etc.)

    If anything, trying too hard kind of messes with you. Too many possibilities. And often too hard to guess tone in plain writing.

    #2154905
    Little Froggie
    Participant

    Are you kidding?!? Planes fly in the clouds!!! That’s where all the internet stuff is… Cloud based

    #2155073
    zen3344
    Participant

    Zaphod, that’s because you’re not on an airplane. You’re on a Vogon ship. Seek out the Dentrassi. They may be able to provide a kosher meal while you’re listening to Vogon poetry.

    #2155070
    Paw patrol 123
    Participant

    Wait, are you telling me that if I want to access my internet, I just have to go into the clouds? The simple ways to access things are just insane.

    #2155135
    ☕️coffee addict
    Participant

    Paw,

    That’s why the things found on the internet aren’t Torah

    לא בשמים היא

    #2155205
    Paw patrol 123
    Participant

    I hear

    #2155208
    Zaphod Beeblebrox
    Participant

    @zen
    This time I wasn’t flying Vogon interplanetary. But some of the stewardesses were just as bad. Not exactly a heart of gold if you know what I’m saying.

    #2155296
    ☕️coffee addict
    Participant

    “This time I wasn’t flying Vogon interplanetary. But some of the stewardesses were just as bad. Not exactly a heart of gold if you know what I’m saying.”

    You flew spirit?

    #2155363
    Paw patrol 123
    Participant

    no wow airlines

    #2155424
    Teal
    Participant

    Talking about flying…. anyone flew recently and had a very bad experience with the tsa security. I did and want to know where I can put my complaints forward to? Is it to the ag of ny?

    #2155462
    maskildoresh
    Participant

    Trilliant, Zaphod.

    #2155474
    DontMindMe
    Participant

    Wow, this thread is still alive….
    Zaphod, I’m sorry I mistyped a letter.
    And I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings. But while people obviously don’t come into the CR to make constructive use of their time, they also don’t want to completely waste their time. And posting nonsensical topics meaning and saying nothing does waste the time of those who click on it.

    #2155911
    Zaphod Beeblebrox
    Participant

    @ dontmindme again, there was nothing wrong with your post. Please reread my previous post on this matter for further clarification as to my intent.

    And if you really think that the things I am writing are any less intelligent than other threads and that my threads are a waste of time then:
    A) you haven’t been reading other threads very carefully.
    B) you’ve never made actual use of your time, so you don’t realize that if you’re wasting time then you’re wasting time, and
    C) you don’t have to open my threads.

    #2156227
    #schwarbombs
    Participant

    Did your plane crash?

    #2156266
    Zaphod Beeblebrox
    Participant

    What do you think?

    #2156367
    yungermanS
    Participant

    Where did your plane land?
    In Israel or on top of the white house or in Iran?

    #2157116
    Paw patrol 123
    Participant

    on another planet

    #2157259
    #schwarbombs
    Participant

    Probably

    #2157552
    zen3344
    Participant

    @Zaphod,

    Next time you fly, you just might consider taking a few packets of peanuts with you. Don’t wait until the flight attendants bring them around. You never know when you may need that extra protein. Oh, and DON’T PANIC! Air travel is mostly harmless.

    #2157875
    Zaphod Beeblebrox
    Participant

    @zen

    It used to be mostly harmless. But ever since this metal dude starting following me everywhere, it’s become more and more risky. I have to turn him off to make sure he doesn’t talk to the plane and make it commit suicide. You laugh, but it wouldn’t be the first time. It’s honestly made really nervous on past flights. That’s when I first came up with pan galactic gargle blasters. A couple of those, and you’ll never panic again.

    To all those who are wondering where I am, I’m currently boating on Damogran on my way to France. Can’t tell you what’s gonna go down there yet, but stay tuned. I have a major announcement. The signal will be a wild whoop in major thirds.

    #2158194
    hashem says no
    Participant

    I don’t even know, what to respond to this.

    #2158311
    Zaphod Beeblebrox
    Participant

    Then why did you? Shoitah. Let me tell you something about yourself that you probably don’t know: you’re not a cat. You’re the human equivalent of pickle Rick, if pickle Rick was a poorly evolved Vogon meshed with a particularly ugly ravenous bugblatter beast.

    #2211776
    Zaphod Beeblebrox
    Participant

    Today I was on a plane again. My opinion has not changed. Planes are still stupid. Stupid planes that get delayed on the tarmac and stick me between two incredibly obese mammals. Good Shabbos.

    #2211802
    Avram in MD
    Participant

    Zaphod Beeblebrox,

    “Stupid planes that get delayed on the tarmac and stick me between two incredibly obese mammals”

    Yeah! Next time you should just walk, or take a horse-drawn cart on bumpy or muddy rutted wagon roads with bandits in the woods 😀

    #2211922
    Zaphod Beeblebrox
    Participant

    It probably would have taken quicker. And smelled better.

    #2212041
    yungermanS
    Participant

    So I guess this time you didn’t have a window seat, cause then you wouldn’t have been between two people.

    Go into a shul and put yourself between two learned talmidei chachomim and learn from their ways.

    #2212122
    Pekak
    Participant

    If you don’t want to be stuck between 2 incredibly obese mammals you can pay to choose your seat. If you insist on flying an airline that doesn’t allow seat selection (even for a price) it’s your own fault.

    #2212489
    Zaphod Beeblebrox
    Participant

    @yungermanS
    I have tried that. Unfortunately they always end up learning from me instead.

    @pekan
    That sounds like something an incredibly obese mammal would say.

    #2212500
    Sam Klein
    Participant

    Why don’t you the next time you need to travel
    somewhere far rather it’s for business or pleasure. Why don’t you instead find a different way of travel if it means driving yourself on a long trip through the country or maybe take the train instead and I think when your trip is over you’ll have a complete new perspective and real appreciation for planes and flying even with bad customer service provided.

    Looking forward to all of us flying soon on the YWN coffee room private plane to Yerushalyim with Mashiach and the rebuilding of the Bais Hamikdosh bkarov.

    #2212639
    Zaphod Beeblebrox
    Participant

    @samklein
    I’ll tell you why. Because most cars don’t float. That’s why.

    #2212728
    Zaphod Beeblebrox
    Participant

    I’m back on a plane. It is still stupid. But this time I got a window seat. So it is marginally less stupid.

    I hope you all are following along and taking notes on the relative stupidity of planes, and how those numbers can change based on various situations. There will be a quiz. Consequences for failure will be severe.

    #2212744
    n0mesorah
    Participant

    Even the failure of stupid planes can have severe consequences.

    #2212790
    Pekak
    Participant

    “But this time I got a window seat. So it is marginally less stupid.”

    So now you can be stuck between one or 2 “incredibly obese mammals” and a window and we’ll read about your childish complaining.

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